This morning I drafted an article to satirize the phrase “mostly peaceful" protests. The tl;dr joke is like, “If you think about it, 9/11 was a mostly peaceful day.” Mostly peaceful is a dishonest way to say, “There was some violence.” It reminds me of other nonsense sayings, like, “Half the population is below the average income.”

By coincidence, I stumbled upon a post that had the same idea as me, published a day earlier. I’m not sure of the exact origins, but it can be found here: https://israelpolicyforum.org/2024/05/02/three-simple-rules-for-gaslighting-american-jews/ I am publishing both my essay (first) and IPF's essay.

For clarity, I agree “most” of the student protesters were not violent. Meaning some percent were violent. As a whole, the students were just intimidating people and chanting violent threats. Preventing visibly Jewish students from walking around campus and entering libraries, by chaining arms and shouting ambiguous threats isn’t better than direct violence. That cowardice allows the underlying bigotry to grow.

To make matters worse, outside agitators were certainly present at each University, despite liberal media’s desperate attempt to downplay these outsiders. IMO these outlets should have spoken to Minouche Shafik, who used the outside agitators as a means to claim their students were not the issue, before splitting the protest alibi in two. Palestine Supporters should try to go with one story: Were the outside agitators the source of most/all of the violence, or were they made up?

Finally, there was a precedent for each of these Universities banning students and canceling speakers for doing far less, such as an incident with Julian Von Abele that (Columbia alum) Coleman Hughes highlighted. That make it impossible for the Universities to pretend this is about “free speech.” These Universities don’t even allow liberal speakers, as documented with UPenn turning on CIA Director John Brennan, UChicago banning (Palestinian) Bassem Eid etc. Lists of disinvited speakers, such as this one from 2016, show that these Universities have long taken a stance against free speech, not for it.

A "Mostly Peaceful" Protest Guide

In an era marked by the acceptance of all points of views—except the view that Israel has a right to exist—recent events labeled as “mostly peaceful” protests offer a refreshing take on civil engagement. These lively gatherings, particularly those that have kept the Jewish communities on their toes, showcase an innovative blend of historical revisionism and cost-effective urban redesign. They let people understand the Israel-Palestine conflict by showing the growing, unwavering voices propping up Palestine since Arafat and Russia rebranded their holy war in 1964. These “mostly peaceful” protests will accept nothing less than the violent destruction of the one Jewish state for a Sharia State.

Yes, they chant “There is only one solution,” which evokes the N@zi “final solution,” and alludes to refusing negotiations with Jews. Yes, they continue, “intifada revolution,” and the intifada was a series of bombings, including child suicide bombings, targeting civilians. But none of these protesters have actually strapped an explosive suicide vest to themselves or their children yet. They’re only saying their desire to do that, peacefully.

Firstly, let's address the popular tactic of calling the descendants of Holocaust survivors "Nazis." This linguistic innovation is not only a remarkable exercise in creative free speech but also a non-violent educational tool. It offers a crash course in alternative history, turning truth on its head with such finesse that one can't help but marvel at the protestors' dedication to dramatic irony. Sure, the protestors harbor the exact same view as chapter 1 of Mein Kampf. Sure, they use naive college students and younger as their primary focus. Sure, the Grand Mufti and Arabs collaborated with Nazis. Sure, theyre invoking the Holocaust to harass the people most traumatized by it's memory. Sure, they’re trying to mitigate it and change definitions of words like “genocide" to suit their cause. But in a post truth world, it is as important to consider the racist conspiracy theories, esp since the words inciting violence are just words, not violence. So when a Palestine Supporter says, “Israel shook hands with Hitler,” it is actually offensive to call out the timeline issues.

It’s crucial to draw parallels between these modern-day protestors and historic protests. Well, the good ones, like Vietnam. Not the architects of Jim Crow Laws. It would be unfair to compare those Jim Crow white Americans crafting spaces exclusively for themselves to today’s protestors who insist on "Zionist-free zones.” Unlike the protestors who pushed for Jim Crow laws, the protesters today take special precaution to cover their faces and say “Zionist” instead of Jew. The Jim Crow era didn’t see such creative word play! Today's segregationist chic is both retro and mostly peaceful. The irony of using segregationist tactics under the guise of fighting oppression is a bitter pill coated in the thickest irony—best swallowed with a side of historical amnesia.

Regarding the $Millions in property damage—let's consider this the latest trend in performance art. Those who don't believe in the materialistic constraints imposed by money have found a poignant way to express their disdain. Why bother with traditional economic systems when you can simply redecorate urban landscapes at will? Banksy, eat your heart out! These protesters understand they won’t foot the bill for their destruction. Their point is either that the government should pay for their damages, and their student loans, or that the bank and media controlling Zionist orgs will foot the bill. In either case, the dangers of Capitalism will be exposed by those who cause property damage and refused to pay for it. This mostly peaceful blow to Capitalism will hit harder with an added divestment from a STEM powerhouse that invented things like drip irrigation and water desalination to offset climate change.

On the topic of anonymity, our forward-thinking protestors take a proactive approach. Masked not just for the element of mystery but as a strategic hedge against future societal judgments—today’s protester can tomorrow deny ever having frowned upon the presence of their Jewish neighbors. It's genius. This foresight ensures that they can adapt their convictions to the prevailing winds of public opinion, much like a chameleon changing colors to suit its surroundings. Next year, when Palestine identity and statehood loses favor, the mostly peaceful protesters do not need to be tied to having supported it. Of the protestors who commit a bit of violence against Jews, they shouldn’t have to deal with the mostly peaceful police reaction.

Critics of “mostly peaceful” things may not appreciate the subtleties involved, but when a day involves chanting, marching, and the occasional beating a Zionist until they’re unconscious, it's only fair to focus on the peaceful intentions. After all, it's the framing that counts, not the violent intentions. If the majority of the time was spent not engaging in violence, that's a statistical win! Consider how much time went towards skipping classes for dance activities, finger nail painting and other activities important to demolishing the Zio- entity for some other, unspecified rule.

Concluding our reflection, we should remember that 9/11 was a mostly peaceful day. After all, most of the planet went about their daily lives, unaffected by the chaos unraveled in mere spots. H@mas’ Covenant is mostly peaceful, if you skip the beginning, middle and end part, and make up a new section about wanting a state. The two intifadas were mostly peaceful, aside from all the events they are marked by. In the grand scale of time and space, a few localized incidents hardly seem significant, right?

THREE SIMPLE RULES FOR GASLIGHTING AMERICAN JEWS

MAY 2, 2024|IN KOPLOW COLUMN

The campus protests raise complex issues of free speech, public safety, and the rights and responsibilities of students and universities. But for too many, it’s easier to pretend that this is black and white and use it as an excuse to harass Jews. 

Hello, and welcome to the pro-Palestine, anti-Zionist campus resistance! Thank you for standing in solidarity with us as we use our scholarship money, our student loans, and our parents’ tuition payments to enable us to do anything and everything while at school other than participate in the academic life of our universities! Demanding that righteous and deserved justice for Palestinians must necessarily mean the end of any form of Jewish sovereignty and statehood is the single greatest cause of our lifetime, and we will brook no accusations that we are in any way extremist, one-sided, or antisemitic. Nonetheless, there are some people who interpret our shunning anyone who supports Israel’s existence as bigoted, or our embrace of a term expressly identified with suicide bombings as violent, or our toleration of signs calling for Jews who came from the Middle East to go to Poland or the U.S. as antisemitic. We cannot abide that, since our support for bigotry, violence, and antisemitism must not carry any adverse consequences for us! To ensure our deeply-held but somehow simultaneously surface-deep beliefs and our inviolable right to do whatever we want do not actually come with any costs, here are three good tactics that you should begin practicing now in order to make our resistance more effective.

First: surround yourself with Jews! This one is the most important, because for some reason, people seem to take bigotry against history’s longest and most brutally persecuted minority very seriously. That goes double here in the U.S., where the Jews are particularly in your face about it and also control lots of stuff. Luckily for us, Jews are a famously fractious and argumentative bunch, and even embrace disagreement as an integral part of their religious and cultural heritage, so it is very easy to find Jews who agree with us and can inoculate us against charges of antisemitism no matter what we say or do. If there are Jewish people, or even better, Jewish groups who say that they support us, feel perfectly safe with our activities, and—best of all—hold Jewish prayers or holiday rituals in our encampments, then it is ironclad proof that there is no hint of antisemitism anywhere! It also lets us decide which kinds of Jews and Judaism are good (anti-Zionists are the most authentic types of Jews) and which are bad (Jews who feel connected to their ancient and spiritual homeland and to the actual Jewish state that exists are violent genocidal maniacs), and also to decide what is or is not antisemitic. We definitely cannot leave such a charged issue up to the people who are on the other end of the purported antisemitism, especially since polls show that 9 out of every 10 American Jews feel that Israel is an important or meaningful component of their identity. So it is even more important to make sure that the Jews who agree with us are front and center, and held up by reporters who don’t know any better as truly representative of the community.

Of course, it goes without saying that this line of reasoning can only apply to Jews and accusations of bigotry against Jews. (They really are the chosen people, aren’t they?) Don’t you dare try to apply this line of reasoning elsewhere, for instance by claiming that Clarence Thomas or Candace Owens can’t possibly say anything deemed to be anti-Black because they are themselves Black, or that pro-life women cannot take any positions deemed antithetical to women because they are themselves women. Tokenism is used by bad actors to suppress authentic ideas, unless it is Jews we are dealing with, in which case having Hizballah flags alongside a Seder means that the Jews who object are the real antisemites. Plus Jill Stein (a Jewish name if I’ve ever heard one!) showed up to support the protesters and to decry Zionism, and you think you know better than a Jewish presidential candidate whether there’s any antisemitism going on anywhere?

Second: define peaceful and non-violent however you want! It is peaceful and non-violent to take over a common space and prevent other people from entering the space that you have cordoned off for yourself, especially if the people trying to enter that common space have the same rights to use it as you do but hold different beliefs. It is peaceful and non-violent to lock arms and march forward in lockstep to physically expel nasty Zionist infiltrators who have managed to sneak into your encampment established on common space, since by virtue of being in that common space, they are the ones disturbing the peace and employing violence. It is peaceful and non-violent to hang signs on your tents that extoll Hamas rockets and quote from the charters of designated terrorist entities, wave flags of groups that have killed hundreds of Americans as well as Israelis, appoint spokespeople who say that campus officials should be grateful that they are not going out and killing Zionists, and insist that the only way to achieve justice for Palestinians is by taking the most expansionist approach possible and eliminating Israel entirely. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Chanting that Tel Aviv should be burned to the ground, or holding signs in front of pro-Israel students that identify them as Hamas’ Qassam Brigades’ next targets, or declaring “we are all Hamas” is not genocidal, and in fact it is those who object to such sloganeering who have the real genocidal intentions. They should take their outrageous hate speech elsewhere and stop infringing on our right to peacefully and non-violently urge a genocide of Israelis.

Third: selectively ignore what is actually taking place in the real world outside of your protest encampment! The horrific suffering of Palestinians in Gaza and the enormous destruction wrought by Israel’s military campaign have given us complete and enlightened moral clarity, but other events prevent some from joining our mindset. They think that a terrorist group still holding 133 Israelis hostage, many if not most of whom have been killed in forced captivity, following its murder of 1,200 more makes things more complicated than we assert. We cannot risk such thinking piercing our veil of virtuous certainty! It is therefore critical to ignore that nearly every government involved in regional diplomacy right now puts the onus on Hamas to release the hostages and accept the ceasefire offer from Israel now on the table; otherwise how can we chant for an immediate and unconditional ceasefire that is entirely Israel’s responsibility to undertake? It is imperative to deny that Hamas committed any atrocities on October 7 and to doubt that it is even holding hostages; otherwise how can we rip down posters with names and faces of Israeli hostages and insist that we are doing so in the name of justice and fighting oppression? It is vital to elide the fact that there has been a country called Israel in existence for over three quarters of a century and that dismantling and replacing it with something else would not only be unjust but cause a geopolitical and humanitarian catastrophe alongside the various others in the region going on in Gaza, Yemen, and Syria; otherwise how can we demand for Israel to be replaced wholesale and insist that 9 million Israelis (but really the 7 million who are Jews) “go back” to the places that either gassed them, shot them, or expelled them?

If you follow these three simple rules, you too can have it all: you can camp outside with your friends, wear fun protest clothing and cosplay as revolutionaries, take over campus property against university rules while also insisting that the university keep you well-fed, and do it all without any long-term consequences! And the side benefit is that you won’t impact anything happening on the ground in Israel and Palestine, but you will have a huge impact right here at home. You can make large majorities of American Jews feel unwelcome, and worry that they are inevitably being thrust back into a history that they thought they had escaped, while convincing more and more people to deny that Jews’ worries about antisemitism and discrimination and violence are real! Welcome to the resistance!