“The Aligator River Story” is a bizarre story given to classes for ethical discussions… or to waste time when the Prof doesn’t have a good lesson plan. Like myself, it’s short and easily found online. The story starts,

Once upon a time... there was a woman named Abigail who was in love with a man named Gregory.

During my MBA’s discussion of this story, this first line meant everything to me. It was trivial to the Prof and class. We were asked to rank the characters’ “honorableness.” Don’t ask what it means, bc I can’t tell you. And I was shocked people had ranked Abigail (Abbie) above Gregory (Greg).

I read, ‘Abbie was in love with Greg.’ I did not read '… and Greg loved her back.’ There were absolutely no indicators Greg knew our protagonist. In fact, had he, I would assume the line would read, “OUAT… there was a woman named Abigail and a man named Gregory deeply in love.”

The others read, “Once upon a time…” and, I’d wager, began to imagine a fairytale. Maybe they were read such stories as children. These tales tend to involve reciprocated love. If there is unrequited love, it’s certainly an ogre or a short king experiencing it. To the class, there was just no way Greg didn’t love Abbie back!

While I’m questioning if Abbie is just overly romantic and dramatic, or a complete lunatic, the others thought about Romeo & Juliet. We had no chance of coming to the same conclusion.

The story does get weirder. Sinbad, a sailor, offers that Abbie sleep with him/her to cross the ‘gator infested’ river.’ Abbie’s friend, Vana, is all like, “idk. do whatev, bro.’ Abbie’s like, “OK dude, I’ll sleep with you. For the love of my life! (Who I never met)” Abbie sleeps with the sailor. Greg, either a complete stranger or legitimate, unmet lover, naturally says, “WTF?” He dismisses Abbie. Abbie then has her friend Slug beat up Greg.

That’s the story.

Forget for a second that it should be “Croc Lake.” We’re talking “honor.” Half of the class insisted that Slug was right to beat up Greg for rejecting Abbie (possibly a complete stranger, who just had sexy time with a random boat captain). This was “common sense” to them. The chivalrous men of the class were taught to defend women! To me, and apparently only me, it was the most insane case of White Knighting since #FreeBrittany.

There was minor discussion of the story. I tried to convince others the importance of my wacko-libertarian ideology known as Non-aggression Principle (NAP). My NAP interp: 1. Greg chose the stoicist response to a stranger coming to his door with, “I slept with a sailor, now date me!” 2. Abbie’s friend had no duty to get involved, since there was no violence. 3. The sailor was an old trope of horny men lost at sea, willing to sleep with a siren. Sex with a random sailor is gross, but this was consensual. Because of the implications. 4. Slug is Abbie’s ride-or-die. They shouldn’t be. She cray. 5. Abbie is a crazy woman who chose to sleep with a stranger, in order to hopefully be with another stranger, then brought that drama into her friends’ lives.

My arguments felt solid. They did not sway anyone an inch.

It was common sense that told the class men are honorable if they defend women, scumbags if they ask for sex from a stranger. Don’t expect explanations.

I can’t afford common sense. It gets in the way of logic and reasoning. Common sense told Billions that the Earth is flat, despite other planets being globes. It meant human flight was impossible. Today, common sense is created by mainstream media, while real sense it is found on blogs, with random rants like “A Fatal Inconsistency in the Work of Yuval Noah Harari”.

Don’t ever choose common sense. Use some sort of rationality. Stoicism seems most popular today, but there are many others. I believe strongly in the Miracles of Modern Science lines,

figured that my heart would be my guide
but when I asked my heart my spleen replied
said “don't bother with your heart, he never can decide
stick with me, I'm better qualified”