We lie to ourselves of an inherent economic sensibility of being nice. This morning I saw on LinkedIn, “It costs $0 to be nice.” It’s a cute aphorism, that has no truth. Kindness, contrary to popular belief, is not free. Rather, the more kind someone is, the more they spend. Kindness is valuable, taxing and rarely free.

Here’s an anecdote: I’m creating a startup. I want it to be an LLC. Unlike a C-Corp, the LLC distinction means I (legally) can not offer anyone equity alone for their work. I can lie and take sole credit. The kindness in me says, “At least buy them a pizza for their help acting in an ad.” Here kindness costs me the price of the pizza. It also jeopardizes my reputation in the business world. Lesser people would opt to create a C-Corp, get as many unpaid interns as possible, and avoid future wages and costs.

We can generalize much further. In most countries, restaurants exemplify the kindness tax. Kind people tip, so kind people spend more. Kindness prevents people like me from ordering food, unless we can justify a tip to the courier. Kindness here is directly related to money spent and opting out from pleasures.

A kind waiter may get paid more. There is no guarantee. Tipping may get you more alcohol in US, or free chasers in Israel. Again, there is no guarantee of offseting cost. The kindness fees are realized as variable costs. Rewards for kindness are unrealized, risky investments, that do not preclude costs.

In a world where "it's the thought that counts," more kind thinking means more cost. What is a birthday, anniversary, or casual Tuesday without a thoughtful gift or card from a kind-hearted individual? These warm-hearted actions often involve a warm-hearted parting with cold, hard cash. That homemade lasagna for the sick neighbor, the surprise book for a friend, the excessive quantity of treats for the office - these thoughtful deeds certainly don't pay for themselves.

I’m kind. I volunteer for hours, every single week. It’s exhausting. There is an emotional investment. Every volunteer and humanitarian has asked, “Is this really worth it?” Every driver who has given friends or strangers rides, but did not get one in return when they need it most, has questioned their kindness. Every “good friend” has debated asking someone to reveal their emotional drama, in hopes they can help, while deep down they think, “Wow I can’t listen to this person rant anymore.”

Kind people are working over time, while mean people sit in executive positions, forcing the kind people to do their bidding. Janitors and minimum wage workers are kind. CEOs and CFOs are not.

We are kind despite the costs. Morals are not based on dollars. We can say, “Smiling is free,” but we can also know, deep down, nothing is truly free. Be kind… and know when it is too expensive.
[Cue memes!]