A History of Good Vibes (Sex Toys)
1. The Oldest… Electrical Appliance
People often insist the oldest profession is prostitution. I doubt it. Since I don’t have a time machine, and people don’t believe me when I say, “No really, hunting and gathering was more important to humanity,” who can tell?
Here’s what we do know:
In 1752, Ben Franklin “proved” lightning has electricity. Errr, he proved USAmericans were willing to risk death for a fun science demo, predating the show Jackass. We fondly remember a man who proved something we knew.
In 1800, Alessandro Volta invents the first battery that isn’t just a potato. Nobody remembers him.
In 1821, Michael Faraday develops the electric motor.
Then Nikola Tesla and others make electricity actually usable.
Then Thomas Edison shows up, patents everything, and convinces the world he invented it all. While Edison didn’t invent electricity, he did invent the concept of “owning ideas you didn’t come up with,” which, in fairness, is very profitable. And very American. And led to Jews moving out West and making Hollywood, but I digress.
Fast forward to the 1880s–1890s: electricity finally shows up in homes in a meaningful way.
And what’s one of the earliest consumer applications?
Vibrators.
In the late 1880s, vibrators are already being commercially produced. By the early 1900s, they’re sold in catalogs as household devices, marketed as “massagers.” This produces a century old inside joke where your mom and aunt don’t explain why that “neck massage tool” is suspiciously close to the bed, hopefully not wet.
Yes, before man figured out how to refrigerate food properly, we figured out how to make it vibrate.
That’s today’s topic: Humans discovered electricity, immediately optimized it, got embarrassed about it, and now it’s back on pharmacy shelves and sometimes your food delivery app.
Since it’s GuySpace, I’ll cover the parts you don’t know, and definitely don’t need to know.
Spoiler for next section: No, vibrators were not invented to treat women’s hysteria.
2. Women’s Hysteria vs. Horniness
“Hysteria” was a real diagnosis, but it was basically the junk drawer of 19th-century medicine.
Symptoms included:
anxiety
insomnia
irritability
So… half the people I know today. Except only women qualified, so roughly a quarter of the people I know today.
Let’s get this out of the way: Contrary to a TV gag from the 60s about wives not having sex because of headaches, I’d suggest this medicine for wives tired of their Al Bundy husband. Getting your brain to shut off for a split second, or in some exes cases, many seconds, probably helps reduce headaches and improves general mood. Worth a shot.
So why do people insist on this story? It comes from a book by Rachel Maines “The Technology of Orgasm” (1999). Maines looks suspiciously like a creepy therapist I worked for in my early 20’s, who not only insisted she was the first feminist therapist in the world (citation non-existent), but also once tried to slip me a viagra. I’m digressing again.
Maines book claimed:
Doctors treated hysteria by inducing orgasm
Vibrators were invented to make that easier
Makes sense! Hell, I’ll keep telling this story to people, just like I tell people Florida is the psilocybin mushroom capital of the world. Why not lie a little, as a treat? It’s not hurtin no one.
But historians, being the nerds they are, went back and checked if this prolific feminist writer was onto something. And much like a scary large portion of liberal arts studies (save linguistics. we cool, linguistics). they found:
little evidence this was widespread medical practice
no documentation that vibrators were standard treatment for hysteria. none. at all.
Does that mean it’s categorically incorrect? Also, no. It’s just unlikely.
Or as Adam DeVine might joke on the This Is Important podcast, it was probably Dr. Brozarks prescribing it to their homies on the DL. Something like a late 19th century version of, “Trust me, gent, hast thou thy wife apply this fine electric apparatus about the girdle region until her hysteria doth subside. And if the affliction persists, perhaps partake in this new Coca-Cola tonic, brimming with most invigorating medicinal properties.”
Let’s be real: Do you think late 18th century docs cared about how women felt? Men were just tinkerererers, coming up with tampons, vibrators and whose-a-what-its and then finding applications for their wives and mistresses after.
As the late Bert Kreisher always says, “Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story.”
Chat GPT when I asked it to make the cover image, but more “Fallout-y”
3. Good Vibes WERE Marketed as Medicine
Now that we’ve removed the fun myth, back to the real story. Like me, it’s fun, but less fun than you hope.
The first electric vibrator was developed in the late 1880s by Joseph Mortimer Granville.
His goal? Muscle treatment.
That’s all. Same goal as real life friends who made machines that just shock you and give cramps.
And that’s how they vibrators were sold for more than a century, heck, still today in some places:
muscle pain
circulation
nerves
headaches
wrinkles
For both men and women. Though I’m guessing men aren’t opting for it as often.
They were part of a broader trend of “electrotherapy,” where electricity was basically treated like a cure-all.
All that said, people definitely knew what it was for. We aren’t all idiots. Most of us are. But not all of us.
We have long had a puritan society, so “This is for health. Please don’t read between the lines (or legs).” was fine.
By the 1920s, vibrators start appearing in more explicit contexts and quietly disappear from polite advertising.
By the 1960s, they come back openly as sex toys. [Unrelated: h’whipped cream cartridges (N₂O) became used recreationally around then too, but sold in sex stores and non-culinary stores in the 90s. Don’t do that! It’s bad for you.]
And today? Well I already spoiled that in my intro.
In the West, vibrators and vibrating penis rings are sold shockingly openly, even for me, a person who’s very progressive, and doesn’t hate just because I have no use for that junk. They’re so openly advertised, my algo sometimes misunderstands that I’m a straight male, not into that stuff, and suggests it on my food delivery app.
That doesn’t mean everywhere is like that. In Alabama they’re still “massagers.” And in the non-West, the area that the crazy regressive left is preaching is amazing, they’re typically restricted under obscenity laws. In India, they’re illegal but sold online (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-41859341). In most of MENA—except Israel, of course, where I have seen ultra-orthodox walk into sex shops multiple times—they are either illegal or heavily restricted depending on the country (https://www.dw.com/en/sex-toys-taboo-middle-east/a-17343863).
But let’s be real: They’re using them in those places ranting about the big bad West. Pandora’s box is open, and she’s loving it. Pandora is not going back to reading provocative letters written in ink about revealing socks.
Avenue Q, which, tbh, I’ve never seen
4. Does the Sex Industry Shape Technology?
This topic is overdone, but also too good to ignore. So I’m keeping it short, like me. Yep, same joke premise, twice in one post. Deal with it, and do your own damn research! And make your own damn ‘The Internet is For Porn’ jokes.
Q: Is most of the internet “for porn”?
A: No, but it has historically been a major driver of traffic, streaming, and monetization models. Demand for video and privacy pushed innovation faster than many “respectable” industries.
(Read more: https://www.statista.com/topics/1596/pornography/)
Q: Did porn influence VHS beating Betamax?
A: Yes, partially. VHS had technical advantages, but the adult industry choosing it helped it scale and dominate distribution faster.
(Read more: https://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/06/business/06beta.html)
Q: Did porn help online payments evolve?
A: Absolutely. Early demand for discreet, fast transactions pushed development of secure payment systems and fraud detection.
(Read more: https://www.forbes.com/sites/tjmccue/2013/08/19/how-the-adult-industry-drove-innovation-in-online-payments/)
Q: Did porn influence broadband adoption?
A: Indirectly, yes. High-demand video content pushed ISPs and infrastructure toward faster speeds and better streaming. Gaming and other applications helped.
(Read more: https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2014/02/27/the-web-at-25-in-the-u-s/)
Q: Is porn driving VR?
A: It’s not the only driver, but it’s an early adopter. Like every new medium, someone quickly asks, “Can this be used for sex?” And I ask, “Should we really be letting children use this? Even though their parents have no clue how to?”
(Read more: https://www.wired.com/story/virtual-reality-porn/)
Q: Does the sex industry adopt tech faster than others?
A: Yes. High demand, strong incentives, and fewer early regulations lead to faster experimentation. If you catch my drift. It doesn’t help that so many porno-enthusiasts are ultra-dweebs. They ain’t all just gooners.
(Read more: https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2016/06/why-the-sex-industry-is-often-first-to-adopt-new-tech/485834/)
Conclusion: If a technology exists, someone has already tested its limits. Rule 34. Other obv jokes.
Danger! Danger!
5. [Takes a cigarette drag] Post-Essay Thoughts
I don’t believe in taboos. I do miss a club called Taboo, but that’s another story too.
Taboos just make the world more awkward. And maybe the fun is the shame and crime for some, but not for me. I’m a fan of honesty and open dialogue, even of the obvious, hence writing a long post about adult toys.
Maybe a better topic to discuss would have been the contradictions of sex and relationship needs, but it’s a tougher talk than the birds and the bees. I’ll give it a quickie to end this off.
Walk into any adult store, even out of curiosity, and you’ll notice most products are for women and gay men. Meanwhile, straight men are still running the “keep it simple” strategy. After a certain age, especially, sticking to Palmella Handerson (borrowing a 5th grade boy joke) and the upright position by a toilet, is enough. Men aren’t pulling a Sarah Silverman and lighting candles before their special time each night.
Conversely, men spend more on interaction substitutes: OnlyFans, girlfriend experiences, paying for dates with women who they don’t stand a chance with. All that stuff that replaces chatting up ladies.
Somehow, men have the reputation as sex-obsessed pigs, while they’re the ones spending money on time, instead of a “coin operated boy” that they ask to leave after two minutes. And women have the reputation as innocent virgins, while they’re the ones keeping the sex shops and online stores open.
One sex spends more money on tools to be independent, while the other spends more money on conversation that probably keeps them single. And, yeah, therapy might help the latter out more.
i.e, Women say, “I’m a strong independent woman, I don’t need no man.” Men respond, “I will use capitalism to make my loneliness more efficient.”
So, again, who’s really the hornier sex? The one that talks about it openly, or the one taught to be afraid of it?
Consider:
OnlyFans generates billions in creator payouts
The global sex toy market hits tens of billions annually
Neither (paying for attention, porn or a toy to keep your independence) is exactly a perfect system. I won’t knock anyone’s yums, but I will say each of these industries has major issues I’m not addressing.
And things are changing. The story of endlessly horny women are here and there, and in Japan and in some advanced places women are paying for simulated relationships (albeit, less sexual in nature). And men, being the nerdy, tech obsessed folk they can be, are also cutting the middleman entirely, creating AI sex dolls with 50 settings.
If there is a healthy balance somewhere, no gender is there yet. And I say that as a monogamous and happy man, who understands virtually all men are pigs, but some of us are more proud of our oinks and pigsties.
Comment what you think: Will men start to take up more of the sex shop? Will women spend more on OF?
