Super Specific Playlists
Bit of Backstory
I was talking to my music-lover friend Meredith about playlists, and the topic of our most specific playlists came up.
Hers was one she blasts at max volume when she hears her neighbors having sex, dubbed, “Musical Celibacy.” It has songs like the Law & Order Theme, the 20th Century Fox theme, the Fairly OddParents theme, Who Let the Dogs Out, Weird Al, U Can’t Touch This. Lots of theme songs. You get the point. It’s her psychological warfare, like the 1989 US invasion of Panama, when they forced Noriega to listen to Metallica and heavy metal. In her words, “Good luck finding anyone attractive with these.”
I pulled out my classic: Songs That I Tell People Are About Anal Sex But Prob Aren’t.
Most of my playlists are genre-based. Things like my recent ‘Alt Country Faves’ playlist, that would have most people asking, “Is this really country music?” To which I’d answer, “It’s adjacent, I think.” They aren’t apt for this playlist list.
Anywhoodles, I digressed. I wanted to share some awfully specific playlists. And if you want more playlists, check the King Chill home page. I post old and new playlists every once in a while. Those are less inside joke based.
Songs That I Tell People Are About Anal Sex But Prob Aren’t
This is the purest version of the concept. Hyper specific. You could put it on, and nobody would know what the playlist is, unless you asked them to try to figure it out or something.
It all started in middle or high school with the song Black Hole Sun. My friend asked what the song was about, and my pubescent mind jumped to the exact same joke it would jump to decades later. Eventually more songs were “actually about sodomy.” And eventually I got pen-to-paper (errrr, songs-to-Spotify list) and this was born.
Wise Guy Advice; Bad Advice
I long dreamed of doing a DJ series with “wise advice.” It was to include the sort of head-y stuff some buy books for, or listen to David Attenborough for. But like most of my brilliant ideas, it barely manifested.
So Wise Guy Advice – get it? my name is Guy – consists of songs you want your children to listen to. It’s the Guidance Space section of my blog in music form.
I really tried to get friends to share songs with good advice, but almost all of them missed the point. Apparently lyrics hard.
Humble brag: I got a legend, DJ Kutski, to make an attempt at this, and I workout to that mix every once in a while. But, tbh, he didn’t quite get the message either, though I do really really really love love love his efforts. (I can send it if you’re into that sorta thing).
The obvious counter to good advice is bad advice. And since Wise Guy Advice had deep cuts, I went with super pop-y and generic songs for Bad Advice. It has things like Eric Clapton’s “Cocaine” and the bizarre but catchy lyrics of Britney’s “Hit Me Baby One More Time.” It also has some songs I really love, even if I wouldn’t my kids to be inspired by the lyrics.
Feel free to take my DJ mix series idea from me!
Woof Woof
This is my dog-song playlist.
Did it start with me searching for songs with “dog” or “woof” in the title? Yes. Do I still love it? Also yes.
In the words of my favorite song on this list:
I can't smell well, or tell the time; Not K through eight, nor K dash 9;For human, grossly underqualified; For canine, grossly overqualified;I don't blend in at PetSmart; And that truth remains for the Walmart;'Cause in either case, they say to me; "What the fuck is lost in aisle three?"Note: I always used to sing “I can smell wallets all the time.” Whoops. To be fair, I imagine dogs smell wallets and know the time.
FourPlaylists About BeingSad
Everyone’s got their crying playlist. I have four:
One’s foreign music that makes me tear up, even though I don’t know wtf they’re saying. The pain in their voice is unparalleled.
Another’s more pop-y, basic, English, with songs you might hear in a sad scene.
Jungle is massive, yes. So there’s a DnB themed sad playlist. Emo-liquid-DnB is daaah best. Bo bo bo!
Most recently, I realized the suffocating and drowning metaphors were used endlessly in the popular rock songs of my childhood. So there’s that.
Check out: 1. Ultimate Suffering Playlist, 2. Suffer 2: Electric Boogaloo. 3. Misery 3: dnb and the aptly-named 4. Suffer-cating if you feel like being a whiny emo bitch. And check up in a year when maybe I’ll have Volume 5.
Note: Yes, the Jurassic Bark episode of Futurama is the saddest thing. You gotta be a monster to not well up during that.
Sober Vibes
I spent more than a decade volunteering with Harm Reduction groups, so I’m not exactly anti-drug in any way at all. As a UK think tank wrote on billboards and busses, “Nice people take drugs.” They do. But I got out of that scene after seeing groups pivot from “Be responsible. Get help if you’re destroying your life.” to “Here’s some Narcan and a high five! Have fun!”
Sober Vibes is a playlist to remind me that a few dozen friends had drug-adjacent deaths. In some cases maybe you wouldn’t say they died of drugs, but, sorry, if they beg a cop to shoot them while in an RC-induced psychosis, or if they “accidentally took too many sleeping pills,” I will call it what it is. I made the playlist while two friends were in rehab, despite the fact that they tend to take people’s phones away when they check in.
It’s a WIP like the others.
This playlist got me deeper into straight edge music. Straight edge music kicks ass. I always admired the guys who were straight edge and partied harder than the people struggling to keep their eyes open. If you’re straight-edge-curious, I suggest the playlist that got comedian Ian Fidance into the scene: Victory Style II. Just know you gotta read the lyrics cause they originated those growls and grumbles that are impossible to decipher without captions.
Anxiety; Anti-Anxiety
I always was interested in the motifs of some songs that make me uncomfortable. So I made Anxiety to get that feeling I have a deadline I’m about to miss.
And then my Untethered Soul homunculus said, “Hey, brain. You don’t want to be anxious. Be not anxious.”
So Anti-Anxiety .
COVID-19
I forgot about this one, til Meredith mentioned she ALSO has a Corona/COVID playlist. Apparently, many do.
Mine is mostly songs about quarantine, a few of which were direct responses to those strange years. Hers is mostly about hygeine. Different directions, but same idea. I might steal some from her cause stealing is caring.
Hot Girl Music
This is a Hot Girl playlistof sassy, raunchy songs, which, despite the name, I mostly play with my gay gym friends while we get a pump. And, yeah, that didn’t come out great but whatev.
Lots of raunch. Very little dignity. Straight men can be bad girls too.
SeeHorny Tunes and Horny 2 XXXtra Horny for over-the-top sexual songs, mostly house and techno, that are X rated.
Hebrew Lullabies
In retrospect, this one shouldn’t have been placed so close to Hot Girl Music and Horny Tunes. But I really like Hebrew children’s music. These songs are just beautiful. And I think you don’t need to be a child or Hebrew speaker to enjoy them.
Side note: I also occasionally listen to Kids Trap 3, which goes hard.
Tech Support
This is a playlist of songs that remind me of working in tech support.
Not songs for working in tech support. Songs about the spiritual condition of working in tech support. The loops, the beeps, the frustration, the fake cheerfulness, the feeling that every problem is somehow both extremely urgent and completely stupid.
I did DJ this one into a mix. It was sloppy. Again, maybe I’ll get back into it…. idk
Sun
We do not appreciate the sun enough, you know? But a bunch of cool dudes have.
Maybe it’s a good alarm clock playlist, if I ever get past using my jams with various friends in the off chance I wake up to some new tune they’re loving.
I also made this into a mix. Just terrible. I shouldn’t share it. But I will.
Cool FX
This is basically music for testing headphones and speakers.
It is full of songs with weird stereo tricks, like “Shepard tone,” which probably a dozen tracks on the mix use. It has panning, odd bass noises and other cool tricks too. Some subtle.
There’s a lot of crossover between songs using Shepard tone and songs that give anxiety, but I like what I like.
Gym, On the Nose
This is not a workout playlist. It is songs about the act of working out.
Well it started that way. I don’t know what it is now. I guess a workout playlist.
Outro
Got a strangely specific playlist, like, idk, one about the rain? Send it pwease.
I love song lists.
I used to burn CDs for all my crushes and I could use the universe sending it back, ASAP Rocky (As Soon as Possible Rocky).
Bonus content!!!
Can you believe I’m just giving away all this for free?
Well Meredith sent me a few playlists to add, and I’ll be adding more as I get them. PS If you check her Spotify profile, you might notice she also has playlists for books she reads. :
Pissed off Women
“Women who are angry and putting their man in the doghouse”
Lucky go happy
“For when things go better than you thought they would”
it’s 2012 and you’re dancing in neon
Remember EDM? We do.
במחזור
Another playlist for being angry
you're living inside a computer…
This is really similar to my very long playlist “Twee Live in the Future.” It’s songs that just feel very post-2020, when everyone’s terminally online, and the adults are badly addicted to social media that Gen Z and Gen Alpha are taking breaks from it.
Ethereal morning shower
I’ve heard of this phenomena: shower playlists. I’m a podcaster in the shower, but I get it.
