Poop Bags 101 (Dear Dog Owners)
Pick it Up, Pick it Up, Pick it Up
Unexpected poop sightings are the worst, whether in an unflushed toilet or on a sidewalk. In 2025 we are both on the verge of quantum computing and, at the same time, execs, paid 6 or 7-figs, can’t flush a toilet. But I’ll leave my theory of how and why C-levels are often unhygenic, despite the fancy suits and gel’d hair, for another time. Today, I’m here to talk dog poop.
My dog, Naya, seems to believe her pooping impresses me. Naya poops 2-5 times a day, giving her the nickname Mayor Poopsie. And this means always being prepared with a bag. There’s no, “She pooped 5 minutes ago, we don’t need a bag.” I always carry that thing on me.
The best way to carry poop bags on walks is a deceptively complex decision, requiring a balance of convenience, preparedness, and, to some extent, social signaling. While no method is perfect, let’s examine the options through two lenses: selfish priorities and societal priorities before arriving at the solution I wanted to reach before drafting this essay.
Good dog
Selfish Priorities: What Works Best for You?
From a purely practical perspective, carrying poop bags should be easy and efficient. No one wants to fumble for a bag at a critical moment, nor do they want to carry unnecessary bulk on every walk. Here’s how the common methods rank when considering convenience and likelihood of remembering to bring bags.
Pocket – Perhaps the most effortless option, this allows for quick access. However, it also carries the greatest risk of forgetting or, worse, discovering a rogue bag in the laundry.
Bag Holder (Leash or Belt Clip) – A generally effective hands-free option, but if you’re not paying attention, you might run out at the worst time.
Tied to the Leash – A strong balance of visibility and ease. You always know how many bags you have, but untying and retying can be mildly annoying.
Fanny Pack/Backpack – Guarantees an ample stash but requires carrying a bag solely for dog-related emergencies. Some find this excessive.
No Bag + Hope for the Best – The epitome of convenience but also the worst possible choice. Relying on fate or the kindness of strangers is not a sustainable strategy.
If pure efficiency were the goal, the ideal strategy would be one that’s always available, easy to use, and hard to forget. But, of course, dog walks aren’t just about personal convenience.
Here’s another strategy
Societal Priorities: Looking Responsible While Avoiding Judgement
Beyond personal ease, there’s also a public aspect to carrying poop bags. The method you choose signals to others whether you’re a responsible dog owner—or just a potential sidewalk polluter. Here’s how these methods rank in terms of social responsibility signaling and aesthetic appeal.
Tied to the Leash – The gold standard of accountability. Passersby immediately see that you’re equipped to clean up, which subtly discourages judgment. Also, it can be an unexpected style statement.
Fanny Pack/Backpack – While not as visible, it suggests preparedness, which is generally respected. However, it’s not exactly fashionable.
Bag Holder (Leash or Belt Clip) – Functional and discreet, though some may question whether you’ve checked your bag supply before heading out.
Pocket – Convenient, but there’s no outward proof of your responsibility. Other dog walkers might silently wonder if you’re a risk to the community.
No Bag + Hope for the Best – A terrible look. If you’re caught mid-walk with no way to clean up, be prepared for side-eye, shame, and possibly a ticket.
If your main concern is public perception, tying bags to your leash is the best choice, as it openly signals responsibility. However, looking responsible and actually being responsible aren’t always the same thing.
Conclusion: The Ideal Poop Bag Strategy
In a perfect world, there would be ample, well-maintained, dog-friendly areas for defecating, stocked with free bags and disposal points (trash cans, compost bins or matter converting devices). Until society reaches this level of enlightenment, it’s up to dog owners to be proactive.
Tying two or more bags to a leash and keeping another two in my pocket is my ideal combo for dog poo cleanup. It means easy access to bags and healthy social signalling. The “emergency bags” tied to the leash are a visual cue that I don’t leave the house empty handed. It’s there when I need it, or a passerby does. Keeping some pocket bags next to my pocket sand means less tying and untying. I avoid the clunky nature of bag holders and the bulk of a fanny pack. Of course, this is a personal preference—some might prefer the convenience of a bag dispenser, but I find them unreliable, as they can run out unnoticed. Similarly, carrying a backpack just for dog walks feels excessive.
At the end of the day, the real goal is simple: clean up after your dog and let others know you’re a good semiratan. Or as I always say, “Na-na-na-boo-boo, pick up your dog poo.”
