To Those Obsessed with Talmud
A priest and a Jew walk into a bar bc our religions preach loving thy neighbor
Being is a subjective experience.
When someone says “I’m Christian,” it can be taken as, “They go/went to Church”, “Their grandparents believed Jesus died for our sins” or “They like getting gifts on Christmas.” There is a diverse understanding of what it means to “be something.”
Despite the obvious subjectivity of “being,” groups are often badgered by outsiders with what it means to “be” a part of their group. Horrible people might insist “being black means voting Democrat,” or “being Christian means hating prostitutes” (even though Jesus hung out with them). They’re wrong.
While only 0.2% of the world’s population defines themselves as Jewish, it’s estimated that more than 26% of the world dislikes Jews (likely the number is worse). “Being Jewish” is thus defined more often by our haters than ourselves.
In order to blame all your problems on one thing, you need to define that thing. Thus, it have been a huge problem in discourse that haters can define words, rather than letting groups self-identify.
For Jews, our haters defining who we are has led to:
Jews/Israelites once being called “Palestinian” by the Romans. Today, we’re “Khazars,” “Fake Jews,” “Globalists,” or, most popular, “Cabalistic baby blood drinkers” and “Synagogue of Satan.”
$Millions spent by groups like Amnesty to fight against the Intl. Holocaust Remembrance Alliance (IHRA) definition of antisemitism, because that’s what they prioritize.
But Jew should refer to Jews, or, as the Bible says, “Israelites.” Israel is the right name, even if it’s not popular. All validated archeological, DNA and other hard science points to this accuracy, even if haters reject it.
Jew haters are as obsessed with defining Jews. They dig for holes in our literature, attempting to say “Jews believe this ridiculous thing! See! See! We’re right about {{{them}}}!”
It never matters that nobody, and I mean not one single Jew, believes the entirety of scripture or Talmud. Like all religions, people pick and choose what they focus on.
When you’re outnumbered 130 fold, facts mean less than popular, oft repeated lies.
With that, I’ll share some of the nonsense Talmud portions that nobody really follows, but haters weaponize against us. I could have just as easily shared wild Christian or Islamic scripture, but my point is to define oneself, not Others.
“Goyim,” a Term The Fragile White Supremacists Need
From a conspiracy sub filled with white supremacists, and of course, #FreePalestine supporters.
Social Media Exemplifies the “Defining” Problems
Years ago, I was kicked off Reddit for antagonizing the #FreePal death cult with links to news events about PA and Hamas child suicide bombers. You can’t show what they’re promoting, lest people know what their “free” means.
More recently, a friend was kicked off a Reddit channel for posting links to data on Arab refugee crime rates.
In both cases, we were not making blanket statements about Arab refugees. On the contrary, we were explicitly showing that Arab refugee “supporters” are focused on scapegoating Jews, dismissing more serious issues. The point was never “all Arabs.” It’s “here’s context they’re hiding from you.”
Social media moderators are not willing to read about the explosive elephant in the room. Worse, millions of real and bot accounts are free to spew categorically false information without consequence, because, on social media, lying about Jews is OK, even if truth about Jew haters is not. So violent moderators can ban civil Jews and call for “resistance against illegal settlers,” which loosely translates to, “murder Jews if they live in these Arab only cities.”
Reddit is a microcosm of Jewish problems. Jews are directly prevented from voicing their opinions, but it is fair game for our haters to insist on what we believe and what we do. Non-Jews show a troubling obsession with defining Jews, having decided that Judea, Hebron and Israel, are not relevant to our identity, despite our Bible referencing them.
When the Jew haters fear us informing them “of our real ways,” they mute or block us.
Obviously, Reddit is not short on neo-Nazis and other hate groups. If you want to find these troglodytes, simply search for “goyim” and you’ll find a long list of Flat Earthers, Free Palestine supporters and other dirtbags who brag they’re woke to what goyim really means. Sure, they don’t know goyim is the plural of “goy,” and the term just means “nation.” [The image above comes from such a search, which pointed to one of many hate groups known to Reddit.]
Bigots use the term goyim to insist it’s not they, the Jew haters, who are isolating Jews from other races, but rather Jews who isolate themselves. It’s the good old, “I know you are but what am I?” tactic. Like, “Sure, Nazis put Jews in concentration camps, but did you see the shtetls they lived in before that? They were asking for it.”
Jew haters ignore that Judaism preaches coexistence and ideas like “thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." They ignore that Israel gives disproportionately high amounts of aid to Muslim majority states.
Truth be told, Rabbinic lit sometimes sets up a binary: Jew or Goy. Their foundation, our Torah (bible), did not. The Bible introduced the word “goy” with a completely different meaning. In the 1st or 2nd century, after Christianity starts, we get this ‘Jew-not’ Jew dichotomy. We do not have a “chicken or egg” situation (PS, that answer is always “egg”).
i.e., order of events:
Jewish scripture preaches coexistence. Goy means “nation.” Jews/Israel are a goy.
Jews are persecuted and murdered for 1000s of years.
Jews are forced to hide their identity and isolate themselves. Towns around the world, but especially Spain, define themselves by the forceful conversion of Jews.
There is the inevitable emergence of rabbis in pogrom-afflicted areas who shift the term “Goyim” to be a bit more slurry. Terrible people like Jeff Epstein adopt the derogatory usage, only to mock haters who take it serious.
Today, 99.99999% of the time “Goy” and “Goyim” is used by Jew haters to victimize themselves, in between calling Jews “Juice” and other thinly-coded words. We get to laugh at bigots thinking they’re the real victims because they decided they define our words and their self-made definition is derogatory.
In my image up top, you’ll see alleged Talmudic chapters, used to prop up the beliefs in Jewish Supremacy. Here’s the problem: Not only do we not believe this stuff, all of those quotes were mistranslated or made up.
Once again, supremacists actually had to make up Jewish lit to justify their hate. And they repeat this foundation for their hate until others believe it, even though the origins are self-victimizing.
To me, this points to the dishonesty and anti-intellectualism of Jew haters and so-called antizionists.
In the image you’ll see mentions of “Libbre David 37,” a fictional work. As one Redditer jokes, “I have it right here. It's stuck on my horn.”
But non-existent Talmudic chapters were not enough for the precious Jew hater’s need to be the victim. So today we also have tons of mistranslations and misattributed quotes for conspiracy lovers to obsess over.
I’ll encourage reading Sanhedrin then re-reading the texts above. You’ll laugh at how different they are.
Many South Koreans, who actually read this Talmudic text, would easily identify the bullshit in the image above. Actual Talmud has rules like, “Do not accept the wicked as witness.”
Talmudic rules formulate an ancient, Jewish judicial system. This system differentiated rules for Jews, mandated to practice good deeds, from goyim, who can do just about whatever their culture says. That’s about respecting other cultures, and ironically weaponized against us today. Sanhedrin is not about a supremacy, but rather respecting that Jewish law is not required of non-Jews.
Unfortunately, you need to read Sanhedrin to know this. With context, some Sanhedrin lines make sense. Without context and care for truth, Sanhedrin lines are wildly adapted to mean something new.
Today, even Jewish people fall for scripture and Talmudic mistranslations and outright fabrications. Popular lies are easy to digest, while truth—Jews are simply hated for success—can be less comfortable.
What if?
Warm Bread, Arousal and Lesbianism
It’s not just the tiki torch waving, Swastika and Star of David burning, proud bigots who are obsessed with defining Jews. Bigots in denial are also obsessed.
Left-leaning paper love to downplay that Jews are connected to JEWrusalem. NY Times repeatedly claimed the Western Wall as the holiest site to Jews, even after objections and corrections. While Rabbinical students noted that the Temple Mount is our holiest site, and forbidden from Jews by Palestine supporters, that did not matter to NYT.
Likewise, Reddit’s TIL has seen frequent obsession with Jews, pretending they’re discussing Israel. While TIL is not a community of bigots, there are enough far left and far right bigots .posting articles on Israel’s war on terror, daily, that it paints a picture to encourage blood libel.
I enjoy posts highlighting the obsession with Jews much more than posts obsessing over Israel. Unfortunately, posts on Jews with citations, not fantasy, are quickly removed from social media, while articles about how Israelis kill “for funsies,” without any citation, dominate.
Again, irony is lost on snowflake white supremacists who need to lie to feel like they’re the real victims, as they attack.
So let’s laugh a bit:
I went to Chabad growing up, but never got this lesson: https://www.chabad.org/torah-texts/5449206/The-Talmud/Yevamot/Chapter-8/Daf-76a I’m shortening it for clarity:
If a man’s member had been punctured and it later healed and the hole closed up with flesh, in any case where, if he would emit semen, it would tear open again, he is unfit to enter into the congregation;
Let our teacher teach us, what should we do to verify whether or not the perforation was adequately closed? Rav Yosef said to him: We bring warm barley bread and place it upon his anus [bei pukrei], and owing to the heat he emits semen, and we observe what happens and see whether or not the perforation remains closed.
Apparently, our wise forefathers believed the most simple, obvious way to find out if a man’s penis or testicles were crushed was to stick warm bread next to his anus. Don’t ask him, “Did you cut your wee-wee?” That’s too complicated. Try this simple trick instead…. to make sure he isn’t going to synagogue with holes in his penis, a serious matter.
Abaye said that a different method is used: We pass before him colorful garments of a woman, and thereby bring him to arousal, so that he will experience an emission... Not all men are brought to excitement when they merely see such clothes. the Gemara rejects this proposal and states that it is clear as we initially answered, that we follow the former procedure even though not all men require it.
Rabbi Abaye thought of a different way to find out if a man’s genitals were so severely injured, the man is rendered less holy. Simply use a women’s “colorful garments.” That plan seems slightly better than wasting bread.
What did Abaye mean by “colorful garments?” For simplicity, let’s pretend he meant panties. [He didn’t.]
In that case, Rabbi Abaye essentially came up with the panty raid. [Also, no.]
Some rabbis, in their sage wisdom [/s], note that not #allmen get excited by colorful lady garments. So they insist on using their previous, foolproof method of arousing men by sticking warm bread near their anuses.
Got that, ladies? If your man cheats, you have two options:
Stick women’s clothes in front of him. That will surely arouse him.
Put a fresh challah by his asshole.
It’s giving Elle. Do NOT ask him if he cheated. Men lie. Get him erect, then look for cuts on his schlong (that’s yiddish!).
After all, you'r body is a holy temple too.
I’m not certain how many Jews with Prince Albert piercings or horrific bodily damage are going to temple. Lil Dicky is one example. But this Talmud portion gets more relevant as it goes on.
according to Rabbi Elazar, who said that an unmarried man who has intercourse with an unmarried woman not for the sake of marriage renders her a zona, a woman who has had sexual relations with a man forbidden to her by the Torah , this applies only to intercourse with a man, but lewd behavior with another woman is mere licentiousness that does not render her a zona, and therefore she is still permitted to marry into the priesthood.
For those who don’t know, “Zona” means “bitch.” People curse, “Ben zona” (son of a bitch) or, “Bat zona” (daughter of a bitch), not “GOOOOY!!!”
Let’s reap:
Bible says a man can not sleep with a women, except after marriage.
Next, it says women can not sleep with men, unless it’s to get him to marry.
Finally, Talmud says women can sleep with other women, so long as they eventually marry a nice Jewish Guy.
Talmud is so convoluted, this portion seems as equally progressive (permitting some lesbianism, as a treat), as it is regressive (insisting women are defined by their marriage to men). Our haters make up passages despite this one.
Maybe Lesbian Catholic priesthood would have prevented a lot of unnecessary child diddling. Just saying.
Four Score and…
Ari Shaffir and The Waste of the 60th
Ex-Yeshiva Student and hilarious, but problematic, very dark, iconic comedian, Ari Shaffir, released his comedy special Jew on YouTube. It’s a must watch both for Jews and our haters looking for Jewish teachings to poke fun at.
“Jew” includes everything from chicken sacrifices to Israeli fixation with Shesh Besh.
Ari talks about the Yiddish version of “Goy” as “shitting on you. It’s a derogatory word.” Not correct, but it’s comedy. And it’s def not his most problematic bit. (He once lied about IDF killing cats, just because nobody would fact check him.)
Despite my earlier rant about goy etymology, he’s right that “Mortal Kombat” (ultra-Orthodox) Jews often being dicks. Big surprise, ultra-orthodox of a religion aren’t kind people! [/s] Yeah, the neturei karta aren’t great, and even if “Free Free Pubicity!” tokenizes their Israel hate, they love to leave out their hate for everything else.
Ari accurately describes,
Ari then describes some of his fave Talmudic teachings, the funny ones by today’s standards, like reules about how to treat women during menstruation. Spoiler: They’re weird rules, <1% of Jews follow. Not Mormon-level weird, but weird.
I suggest listening to the whole bit, but if you’re not a fan of dark comedy, or need a recap, I’ll give some other bits of Ari’s bits, in hopes you don’t take them serious.
(What if) Some guy is making his cauldron of soup. And one of these goys—these shifty fucking goys, milling about and bringing down property values—reaches into his pocket. He pulls out some ham. When nobody is looking, he dunks the ham right in the soup.
Can you eat the soup or not?
His Jewish audience delights in knowing the Waste of the 60th Rule. This rule posits that so long as treif (non-kosher) contaminants make up less than 1/60th (1.66%) of a total volume, it’s OK to eat.
Have 61+ gallons of soup? Talmud says someone, not you, can add 1 gallon of bacon. Have 59 gallons? Then, as Ari jokes, “It’s obviously ham soup. Pour it out on the street.”
While I have been told by the severely persecuted goyim [/s] that Jews follow this 1/60th rule, I am yet to meet anyone, even in ultra-orthodox communities, who does. Most Jews don’t even keep kosher. [See the Ayatollah modern day rules about getting to feed raped animals to your neighbors for a real comparison.]
Outside of the Jew hater world, where Christians are the most persecuted group and Islamists have never done anything wrong, anyone who actually has a Jewish friend know’s 1/60th is old Jewish custom. Kashrut-followers today are famously picky. They'‘re OK with waste, and in US (less in Israel) use tons of disposables. They wouldn’t follow the 1/600th rule. They would throw away a microwave if a fly that touched bacon flew in and out of it.
Ari continues in his standard sardonic manner, poking fun of our haters:
Jews do love loopholes. That’s what makes us such great tax attorneys. We find loopholes then we exploit them. …
You can’t covet your neighbor’s wife. One of the things you covet is their hair. Hair is an attractive quality in a woman. … So these Jewish women, who are just as smart as Jewish men, they went looking for loopholes. They went to their rabbi. ‘Can we cover up our hair with… somebody else’s hair?’… We propose we cover up our hair with some hair we bought in China, so it’s not us they’re attracted to. It’s Sung Lee from China.
Yes, that’s about 100% accurate.
Some Jews love loopholes, like some Mormons do. Some Jewish women cover their hair with wigs, which probably make their neighbors covet them more, especially if it’s a Shiksa hair. There are loopholes about shabbat and food. And there is BS that people obsessed with Jews think to be truth, but Jews and our allies know is not.
Laugh at all of it.
And if someone asks you about being a practicing a Jew, simply take a cue from Paul Rudd and say, “No. I’m not a practicing Jew. I perfected it.” And thank G-d, nobody actually follows scripture to a T (or “to a ✡︎”, in our case).
An actual joke from Talmud. It’s about how you say it!
Even more Goy Victimhood
Hateful ideology always relies on playing the victim. The far left loves to rant about marginalizations, while the far right rants about their rights and freedoms being infringed. Ultimately, they’re saying the same thing.
Victimhood turns pathetic when people are making up lies in order to feel victimized. Some exaggeration is whatever.
Can you even imagine being so short on problems that you need to make more up? What a life.
